What a Difference a Decade Makes!

I left Los Angeles to live in Mexico in 2001 with lots of luggage, a cat, and several boxes shipped UPS at great expense.

Ten years later, it would have been so much easier with much less stuff if I made the international move now. In the big boxes I shipped to Mexico (and 2 1/2 years later to Argentina) were VHS cassettes, music CDs, and photo albums, not to mention lots and lots of real books and a score of piano music. All heavy and bulky.

In just a few short years, technology has changed things so that if I were to do it over again, I would have my iPod, DVDs, and a Kindle (which I don't have yet), and listo! I'd be ready to go. There's still a bulky cat and now a bird, and now also a milonguero viejo, but anyway I think beings are better than boxes, don't you?

The Universe Speaks!

Anyone who knows me is aware that I am so not a New-Ager, or Self-Helper, or Pie-in-the-Sky Pollyanna. Well, I'm not. I don't read my horoscope, or seldom anyway, or check my chakras, or anything similar. Well ok, I wish on my birthday candles and the chicken wishbone (we don't have whole turkeys here.)





Otherwise I am a conservative and spiritual practicing Anglican/Lutheran, just as I am a conservative and traditional tango dancer.

But I do listen to the Universe every day when it sends me notes.
And the other day it sent me a tango note, yes it did. Maybe you got one too?

Not only are you now dreaming, Cherie, but you're adored. And not only are you adored, but you're guided. A lot,     The Universe

"LEFT, Cherie! LEFT, NOW!!"    (You can sign up for your own Notes here: © www.tut.com ®) And all along I'd been thinking I was only following my partner's leads! In tango, I think we need to "dream" more and release control to our Guide, who adores us for the three minutes we are in the embrace. We women are guided by our partners, and you men are guided by the music and your dreams. And all of us by the Universe! Ain't it grand?

Margareta's Tango Passion

Margareta (right) with the Swedish Ambassador Charlotte Wrangberg

 Margareta Westergard and I met in 2000 when she made her first tango pilgrimage to Buenos Aires from her home country of Sweden. She, like me from 1997-2003 when I moved permanently to Buenos Aires, comes here to dance whenever she can. And she, like so many other women I know (myself included), wrote a book about her experiences: Tango Passion and The Rules of the Game. Margareta's book is more than a memoir, as her diary is interwoven with sections from other tango books by Sonia Abadi and Gustavo Benzecry Saba to create three different perspectives on the milongas and tango codigos of Buenos Aires.

Originally in Swedish, it has been translated and published in English this year by Abrazos Books. The Swedish Ambassador organized a reception for Margareta in the elegant official residence in Palermo last week, where Margareta did a presentation in Spanish, and there was tango entertainment, as well as a bit of social dancing.

Margareta speaking all in Spanish

Tango Passion: The Rules of the Game

Guest bandoneonista

What tango party doesn't have dancing?

You can catch the highlights of the event on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jMKcbxRAI8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_LK4cn-JNI&feature=related


The book can be ordered from www.abrazosbooks.com.
Contact Margareta at margaretawestergard@msn.com

Congratulations, Margareta!

La Virgin de los Dolores

A repost from 2007

Today is Our Lady of Sorrows' special day.






















La Virgin de los Dolores is very dear to me. I really feel the pain of mothers who watch their children suffer.

On the Friday before Holy Week, in Mexico where I used to live in San Miguel de Allende, her day is celebrated with special, elaborate, and creative altars in homes and businesses. During the evening people solemnly visit as many as possible, always being offered a "fruit water" to drink that symbolizes the Virgin's tears. And the next day the altars are all taken down and preparations begin for Palm Sunday.

Four years ago I offered to build an altar in my friend Nelly's mail service office. I researched the symbols and spent the night before putting little flags into bitter oranges. Early in the morning I bought a bucket of fragrant fresh mint and chamomile to spread over the altar and on the floor. I used my purple satin Victoria Secret nightgown as a backdrop, because purple is her color of sadness.

Here are Nelly and me with the altar:

It was a fabulous experience for me, a time of much contemplation, meditation, and tranquility. How I miss the over-the-top spiritual life of Mexico! But you know, one Sunday three years ago after I first moved to Buenos Aires from Mexico, I was longing for the processions that used to move pass my window in San Miguel, and I looked out of my window in Congreso and saw a procession on its way to the nearby church. It was sort of raggedy and small, very simple: a priest and two altar boys, a small image of the virgin being carried by four men, and parishioners following with a few bouquets of flowers. But it was faith in the streets all the same, and an answer to my prayer. God usually provides.

To read more about processions under my balcony, as well as two years of other Mexican experiences, both spiritual and carnal, click the link to MEXICO DIARIES.

More On the Codigos

 

Due to much interest in this topic and a debate on Facebook, I'm reposting the links to my previous blog posts on The Codigos.

Those Mysterious Milonga Codes

More Milonga Etiquette

The Milonguero Way

Please remember that this is my perspective from Buenos Aires, and that I only attend traditional milongas. I believe the codigos are fantastic for many reasons, among them that the woman alone feels safe and in charge of her evening. The codigos were developed over a very long time for very good reasons. If some people don't like them or don't want to respect them, no problem; they can stay in their own countries or just attend the "alternative" milongas here that cater to young foreigners. There is not just one way to dance tango, nor is there just one kind of milonga, thank goodness. To each his own.

Codigo Fallout

Don't get me wrong, I love the codigos of the milonga.

But sometimes they can backfire.

For example, when I first saw Ruben dancing years ago in the milongas of Lo de Celia, Club Español, Los Consagrados, I looked and looked at him to no avail--for two months!

Much, much later I asked him why it took him so long to cabeceo me. He replied, once in Lo de Celia, his friend and table-mate danced with me and then told Ruben that I would be his girlfriend! This in effect put "dibs" on me, in the codigos of the caballeros. Well this guy never did dance with me again, but Ruben had to wait a decent time before doing so himself out of respect for his friend. Yes, I know, it's ridiculous, but many men here are like that.

Ruben is extremely conservative, and the traditional code among men is important to him. In the same way, he doesn't care to dance with married women if their spouse is there in the salon or if he is a personal friend. Nor does he like to dance with my friends; he looks on them as family and it feels incestuous (sorry, ladies).

By the same token, our milonguero friends don't know how to treat me if I appear in a milonga alone. Last week I didn't go to Chique as we have been teaching a lot and since we had no students to accompany that particular time, I decided to take a night off and Ruben went alone. The following week, I entered the milonga with two students while Ruben was parking the car. Our men friends were taken uncomfortably aback not to see us together two weeks in a row and didn't know how to greet me: kisses and hugs as usual or restraint? So they all held back, uneasy, until Ruben arrived, and then everyone was kissing and joking and jolly. All was right with the world and as usual in the milonga.

It's the same machismo that dictates only men get menus in a formal restaurant, and that the waiter never addresses, or even looks at, the lady who is accompanied by a man. Yesterday I heard a story of a woman and a man sharing a taxi and he got out first, instructing the driver to take the woman to such and such an address, her home. But on route, she changed her mind and decided to go to a milonga. The taxista refused to take her, saying he was following the orders of the man!

But there is a reason tango came out of this culture, and that the woman follows the man without question, trusting him to "dance her well."  The man has certain responsibilities which by Jove he will honor. And ok, sometimes they are more responsible to other men than to women, but on the pista, they will do their best to see that we have a good dance--because that makes them feel more like men.

All of this can serve as a reminder to the ladies that whether we dance or not often has little to do with us. It's not that we aren't pretty enough, or young enough, or skinny enough, or dressed sexily enough, or enough of a good dancer; the men have their own issues, like honoring a friend by not dancing with his woman, not liking the particular music at the time, already having promised the "vals" tanda to someone else, wanting to cool down and dry off before dancing again, wanting to enjoy their drink or finish their conversation. One of the first things a tanguera needs to learn is that it's not all about her.

Unlike many situations in life, the milonga is a place where women can be women and men can be men. Let's enjoy it while it lasts.

Simplifying

I just came to a realization today that I've been spending a whole lot of time on emails and phone calls from people I don't know. As a professional librarian, it's my nature to want to give people information, and it's a pleasure when I can, especially about something that I love so much: the tango.

But now that Ruben y Cherie Tango Buenos Aires has 15  5-star reviews on Trip Advisor, and as of this moment we are rated the No. 3 Attraction in Buenos Aires, the emails and phone calls come fast and furious, and include all kinds of questions such as what to wear to a milonga, where can they buy tango shoes, which is the best hotel, which milongas are closest to San Telmo, etc. And I've spent hours and hours answering such questions, many times for people who never took a class.

For some reason I've become the "go to" person in Buenos Aires regarding milongas. Yes, I get phone calls about addresses and times of milongas from locals and foreigners. And even, because Ruben does taxi dancing, I get phone calls at 3 and 4 a.m. for taxis!!!

All of this rather saps my energy from what I prefer to do--teach tango with Ruben. So from now on I'm simply going to recommend that folks purchase Sally Blake's very complete guidebook, Happy Tangos, and read therein all they need to know about tango in Buenos Aires.

Reading Happy Tango--click to buy on Amazon

And I'm going to stick to writing emails about dates, times, prices and class confirmations. And save my energy for our students. Maybe even for writing my own book!

Hoppy and Ruben: Affairs of the Heart

As anyone who knows Ruben knows, he has a happy heart--not the sad, nostalgic, "she done me wrong" mood of the tango, or your typical Argentine. He finds joy in dancing, perhaps where others find release from sadness. Whatever. It's not important why someone is drawn to the tango.

But I had the strangest thought last week. Somehow in conversation I remembered my crush on cowboy star Hopalong Cassidy when I was a teeny weeny child, like 6 or so. I remember well being smitten by his all black attire sitting on his white horse, Topper, his white hair under the black hat, and his laugh, his fabulous, joyous, hearty laugh.

I mean, I really remember being "in love" with his image on our little black and white TV. He was my first love; my more serious affair of the heart was when I was 7 and really and truly in love with Gene Kelly. No kidding, folks, you can laugh, but I remember. Never put down the emotions of children. Puppy love is a whim of the adults.

So last week when chatting with a student, it occurred to me that Ruben has a resemblance to Hoppy. Can you see it? Or am I plain nuts? Or am I crazy even to think it makes any difference what someone looks like after a gadzillion years. It's sort of like the psychologists who say you either fall in love with someone who reminds you of your father or is exactly the opposite.

Ruben looks nothing like my father. But somehow, he reminds me of Hoppy.

I never knew that Hoppy (Bill Boyd) made a successful visit to Buenos Aires in the early 50s, where he also was idolized as the cowboy hero of radio, film, TV, and the comics. His words to Clarin on arrival: "Estoy moi contentou de haberr arivado a esta yenerosa y hospitaleira Aryentina".

Viva Hoppy!!!

Gaucho Fair at Mataderos Opens Again!

The Mataderos Fair is open again! Hooray! My favorite way to spend a Sunday in Buenos Aires! Check out the website for information on all of the activities, performances, shopping, and eating.

(A repost from 2010)

Tango tourists often engage us to take them to various points of interest, such as La Boca and Caminito, San Telmo, and the Feria de Mataderos being the most popular destinations for our Tango Tours. Ruben is a fountain of information on the history, background, culture of the tango and old Buenos Aires.

A friend just asked me if it wasn't boring to return over and over again to places where I've been so many times.

The answer is absolutely not because each time it is a different experience. But even more so at the Feria de Mataderos.

Newly reopened today for the season (until the middle of December), it's the best way to spend a fine Sunday in Buenos Aires. (closed when it rains)

Tomorrow the weather looks like it will be perfect. Why not take advantage and Hie thee to the faire?! You won't be sorry. Try to get there early (noon) and have an asado lunch in time to see the Gaucho Games which begin around 3:00 p.m. Please don't overlook the Museo, which aside from the interesting displays, gives you a peak at a historical building unchanged for more than a century. (They also have a nice bathroom, FYI.)

If you'd like us to take you some Sunday, just make a reservation in advance.