The Laws of Tango BA Podcast

BA Cast's Fernando y Daniel are back with their fun podcasts, and this time it's the first of a three part bilingual documentary on the tango: The Laws of Tango: Dance.

 Soon to follow are Music, and then Lyrics & Philosophy.

Ruben and I, Cyrena and Lizzy, as well as Brit Tango Bob were interviewed in their studio, and they even went to Los Consagrados to talk to various "milonga characters."


I hope you will tune in to this informative and sometimes wacky podcast in Spanglish. And while you're on the site, sample some of their previous shows. You'll learn something and get a chuckle as well.

More On the Codigos

 

Due to much interest in this topic and a debate on Facebook, I'm reposting the links to my previous blog posts on The Codigos.

Those Mysterious Milonga Codes

More Milonga Etiquette

The Milonguero Way

Please remember that this is my perspective from Buenos Aires, and that I only attend traditional milongas. I believe the codigos are fantastic for many reasons, among them that the woman alone feels safe and in charge of her evening. The codigos were developed over a very long time for very good reasons. If some people don't like them or don't want to respect them, no problem; they can stay in their own countries or just attend the "alternative" milongas here that cater to young foreigners. There is not just one way to dance tango, nor is there just one kind of milonga, thank goodness. To each his own.

Codigo Fallout

Don't get me wrong, I love the codigos of the milonga.

But sometimes they can backfire.

For example, when I first saw Ruben dancing years ago in the milongas of Lo de Celia, Club Español, Los Consagrados, I looked and looked at him to no avail--for two months!

Much, much later I asked him why it took him so long to cabeceo me. He replied, once in Lo de Celia, his friend and table-mate danced with me and then told Ruben that I would be his girlfriend! This in effect put "dibs" on me, in the codigos of the caballeros. Well this guy never did dance with me again, but Ruben had to wait a decent time before doing so himself out of respect for his friend. Yes, I know, it's ridiculous, but many men here are like that.

Ruben is extremely conservative, and the traditional code among men is important to him. In the same way, he doesn't care to dance with married women if their spouse is there in the salon or if he is a personal friend. Nor does he like to dance with my friends; he looks on them as family and it feels incestuous (sorry, ladies).

By the same token, our milonguero friends don't know how to treat me if I appear in a milonga alone. Last week I didn't go to Chique as we have been teaching a lot and since we had no students to accompany that particular time, I decided to take a night off and Ruben went alone. The following week, I entered the milonga with two students while Ruben was parking the car. Our men friends were taken uncomfortably aback not to see us together two weeks in a row and didn't know how to greet me: kisses and hugs as usual or restraint? So they all held back, uneasy, until Ruben arrived, and then everyone was kissing and joking and jolly. All was right with the world and as usual in the milonga.

It's the same machismo that dictates only men get menus in a formal restaurant, and that the waiter never addresses, or even looks at, the lady who is accompanied by a man. Yesterday I heard a story of a woman and a man sharing a taxi and he got out first, instructing the driver to take the woman to such and such an address, her home. But on route, she changed her mind and decided to go to a milonga. The taxista refused to take her, saying he was following the orders of the man!

But there is a reason tango came out of this culture, and that the woman follows the man without question, trusting him to "dance her well."  The man has certain responsibilities which by Jove he will honor. And ok, sometimes they are more responsible to other men than to women, but on the pista, they will do their best to see that we have a good dance--because that makes them feel more like men.

All of this can serve as a reminder to the ladies that whether we dance or not often has little to do with us. It's not that we aren't pretty enough, or young enough, or skinny enough, or dressed sexily enough, or enough of a good dancer; the men have their own issues, like honoring a friend by not dancing with his woman, not liking the particular music at the time, already having promised the "vals" tanda to someone else, wanting to cool down and dry off before dancing again, wanting to enjoy their drink or finish their conversation. One of the first things a tanguera needs to learn is that it's not all about her.

Unlike many situations in life, the milonga is a place where women can be women and men can be men. Let's enjoy it while it lasts.

Those Mysterious Milonga Codes

Most tango dancers around the world have heard of the "codigos" (unwritten rules of the milongas in Buenos Aires) and know a little bit about the cabeceo, or the head-nod invitation to dance. Also, at many international tango festivals there is discussion about the line of dance, la ronda, and how leaders need to manage it, which is also covered by the codigos. These two aspects are the most well known of the milonga codes.

But do you know that there are more than forty codigos of how to behave, from when you enter the milonga until you leave? There is etiquette to cover every situation (before it becomes a "situation").

Many foreign tangueros don't know or care about "old-fashioned" rules from a time and culture gone by. But the Argentines have been dancing tango in Buenos Aires for 150 years and have figured out a few things about how to conduct themselves at a milonga. The tried and true codigos are for everyone's benefit.

Tourist dancers in Buenos Aires sometimes rebel and want to act as they are used to at milongas in their countries. But out of respect for tradition, the local tangueros, and the tango itself, it behooves one to learn and follow at least the most important of the codigos while dancing in the traditional milongas of Buenos Aires.

I'm not going to list them here, because you can find the "rules" elsewhere on the web. Suffice it to say they are all about common courtesy. Here are some sites that discuss the codigos: La Milonga (español), Tango Chose Me,
 Tips for Cabeceo Success, Crossroads, and once more a great article from Tango and Chaos--All the Meat on the Fire.

The Milonguero Way

I am a "professional" dancer because I teach tango and get paid for exhibitions. But I wouldn't be a pro here in Buenos Aires if it weren't for my partner. He is the draw. He is the Argentine who spent most of his life in the milongas, who lives and breathes and sings the tango. We work very well together, but if it weren't for me, he could also work well with someone else who has the same tango point of view.

Foreign dancers especially love getting to know a milonguero and hearing his stories and dance secrets that otherwise they wouldn't be able to do, particularly if they don't speak Castellano.

Ruben wasn't always a professional dancer; he used to work in television until the crisis of 2001. He was passionate about his job, traveled all over Argentina working, and danced tango every night for the love of it.

Now tango is his job. He earns his livelihood from tango. It's now more than pleasure; it's work--which he enjoys. He teaches, does taxi dancing, and gives historical Tango Tours of Buenos Aires.

Sometimes this puts him in a difficult situation with friends at the milongas we go to for enjoyment and socializing. (We also go to milongas for work when we do milonga accompaniment.)

Foreign women friends expect that Ruben will dance with them. Sometimes he does. But if not, sometimes they outright ask him to dance, which puts him in a bad place as it does with all milongueros. For one thing, milongueros don't like to be invited, nor do they want to refuse a lady, and for another, if he danced with all the women who wanted him to, what about me? What about our social evening together? We are at Los Consagrados or Chiqué to enjoy ourselves.

He will always dance one tanda with current students. It's part of their education and he likes to check their progress. And he will bend over backward to make sure our friends get their drink orders, are comfortable, and help them have a great time at the milonga.

But there are friends who expect dances with Ruben at the same time they are telling me they are taking classes at DNI, or El Beso, or expensive privates with Maximiliano Superstar. They ask me to "tell" Ruben to dance with them! Ruben owns his own dance. (I do not give him orders.) Read more here.

They expect him to give it away for free. They forget that the tango is what he has to sell.

Do these same people ask for free consultations from doctors and lawyers at social gatherings back home?

Ruben is a low-profile real milonguero, not a stage dancer who tours the world giving classes and making a big name for himself. He's in Buenos Aires every week of the year dancing in the milongas, as he's done for the past 30 years. All the women want to dance with him and all of the men want to dance like him. But he is a professional. Friendly, affable, funny, and fun as well. And available for classes and milonga accompaniment.

I wish the women would remember that at the milongas.