On the heels of my last post is this one about more milonga etiquette.
Once again, this is a lapse of the codigos that rule in the milongas of Buenos Aires. The milongas de la tarde are more formal and conservative than some of the late-nighters which at times border on free-for-alls (La Viruta, for example.)
And also once again it's an error only committed by foreign ladies, never Argentinas.
The first time it happened I couldn't believe my eyes. A woman comes to the table to ask Ruben to dance! (and he's sitting with me).
This puts him in a terrible position. Please think about it, ladies. He's a gentleman, he doesn't want to deny a lady anything, it goes against the grain of a caballero. So maybe he doesn't like the music of this tanda, maybe it's music that Ruben and I particularly enjoy dancing together (D'Arienzo, Calo, great milongas), maybe he's tired and wants to drink his champagne, maybe he has two or three students yet to dance with.
If you watch Ruben you will see that he doesn't dance a lot, nor do I.
And a little tip: the milongueros here like to be the pursuer, the conquistador, not the prey. I hear their comments about aggressive women, and they are completely turned off. Even if they would have enjoyed dancing with someone when they chose to, if they "have" to, then it's a chore.
And what woman wants to be in the same league as taking out the trash?