After eleven years living, dancing, teaching tango, and writing in Buenos Aires, I came home to L.A. in 2014, where I'm reconstructing my life.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The More Things Change...

Only a short time ago, it took me an hour a day to catch up on reading new posts on my favorite blogs. Since so many have gone private, or stopped allowing comments, or have gone by the wayside, I now whip through the list before I finish my first cup of coffee.

I miss them. Already I'm looking back with nostalgia at 2007, the Golden Age of Tango Blogging!

I learned years and years ago on the Tango-L, that there are people sitting behind their computers all over the world just waiting to take out their frustrations and anger on innocent posters.

My first flame (and not the romantic kind either) had to do with my coming back to L.A. from Denver's first close-embrace weekend and posting to Tango-L about how great it was. I received long, long private letters from two organizers of L.A. tango, calling me every dirty name in the book, and alluding to my having a bad moral character. I mean those letters were masterpieces of sarcasm and nastiness.

I'm still on the Tango-L list, but I watch my back and rarely post. I've heard it all anyway over the years. I'm also on a Yahoo group list, BANewcomers, which is a fantastic source of information and helpfulness. Still, there are the flamers, those who are so ready to take offense at the least little thing. (This week was a flame war over a woman's post that expressed her frustrations in living here. I mean, really hot flames of racism and name calling.)

So I understand why, after putting your heart, soul, and life out there for all the world to see and criticize on a blog, some people have decided to pull in their heads and tails.

Yesterday I had some extra time and I posted to a new forum about buying tango shoes, and where to go to a tango cena-show. I was a reference librarian; I like to help people with information. Hoo boy!! I got my head taken off for the trouble because my responses were too late for that particular tourist's trip to Buenos Aires. The thread wasn't closed, and the questions were classic, so I thought someone else might find the answer useful.

But I learned my lesson.

So far I've been really lucky with my blog, and the only negative comments I've ever received in two years of tangocherie, were about my post on the nudity in Melina Brufman's tango show. I got a real kick out of the argument that ensued. So, so far I appreciate every comment and publish them all. But I suppose if I were harassed and hassled over and over, like several blogger friends have told me they were, I'd reconsider my options.


Anonymous said...

Cherie, hatred and vitriol is never fun. But I think pulling up stakes and going private just empowers bad commenting behavior. An intermediate step is to take advantage of the moderating tools on most blogs. Warn that although all views are welcome, hateful, name-calling comments will be deleted, and invite the commenter to reword their thoughts.

It might be too much work for people who will never change. But one can always hope, n'est ce pas?

Elizabeth said...

I suppose that writing, like painting, theater, dance, (all the arts) puts us WAY out there, and open not just to our own awfully strict judgments, but to the whole world. Better to be on the bus than off, however. What a boring world it would be if we all just clammed up!

Anonymous said...

I had to deal with some really hurtful private e-mails lately from someone because I don't say I miss Seattle enough in my blog and because I'm happy in Buenos Aires. It's odd.

I really don't understand why people are the way they are.

I'm glad you still have your blog, as it is a delight to read!

tangocherie said...

Hola amigas mias!
Thanks for your comments.
Anyone who puts herself "out there" is asking for criticism, but I think it's worth it. Just like actors, musicians, authors, plastic artists--the difference, at least one difference anyway--is that hopefully these people are compensated financially, whereas blogging is a labor of love!

tangobaby said...

Hi Cherie,

It's so strange that people would take what you, or any of you who've just posted her, have to say so personally and with such antipathy. I think all of you have such interesting and well-thought out things to say. And I appreciate that you take the time out of your busy day to share your thoughts.

Isn't that what this is supposed to be about anyway? Sharing and discussing things that interest us? I just don't get it.

And Tina, that's so random and odd about the Seattle thing. When you move to Italy are people going to write and complain that you didn't spend enough time in BA? Give me a break. Every place has its charms and the fact that you travel and write about where you are in such a wonderful way is a treasure.

Some people need to get a life. Or step away from the computer and find something else to focus their energy on.

La Nuit Blanche said...


talk about catching up on favorite blogs.... my own blogging activity was on haitus for a while, and i am suffering the consequences of wanting to read everything i missed during the past few months. which means, hours and hours of catching up each day, haha.

at least it's keeping me a good girl, and working hard to save moolah for my trip to BsAs. i'm going to be there in august, i can't wait! :-D

will you be there, too? it'd be lovely to meet you, one of the first bloggers i started to read when i started tango...


tangocherie said...

Bonjour Nuit!

So glad you are back in action! Great Blog, interesting comments, we all enjoy hearing from Nuit.

I hope we meet when you are here in August. Si Dios quiere, I'll be here too, doing my normal tango thing.

Un beso grande!