After eleven years living, dancing, teaching tango, and writing in Buenos Aires, I came home to L.A. in 2014, where I'm reconstructing my life.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
I am no stranger to loss, as many of you know. Since 1991 when my husband Jack died, way way too young, everything that I had up to that time also went away. Before then, believe it or not, I had everything I ever wanted out of life (that should have been a clue, right?) But the beginning of major loss in my life was in 1989 when Jack was diagnosed with cancer and given no hope to live.
After his death I lost the family home, the stuff in it (ooh lots of treasured stuff), most of my friends (funny about that), my health to my own two cancers, my parents, my job, and my country when I no longer could afford to live on the little early retirement I received.
So when Phoebe died on Monday, as what happens with everyone, the enormous feelings of loss I felt over my little companion of thirteen years, conjured up all the losses of my life with a whammy. So one ends up mourning not just the recent loss, but all that was lost since the beginning of time.
When I saw on the news how the glaciar Perito Moreno is melting for the first time ever in wintertime, and I remembered the Peruvian glaciar that recently disappeared leaving a rusty ski resort and the local Indians without any water source, it all converged into one painful Weltschmertz, with lots of tears. The loss of magnificient natural wonders, the loss of balance on our planet, the continuous loss of peace all over the world, the loss of a little animal who was your constant faithful companion who totally loved you...well thoughts like these can keep you in bed all day.
But if we can drag ourselves up and around, and go out and dance some tango, which is all about loss, isn't it?, hold someone close and dance out our feelings, we can go on a little easier. Well I can, and I hope you can too.