tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post2615762396504956820..comments2023-09-25T08:07:19.567-07:00Comments on tangocherie in Los Angeles: Tango: The Dark Sidetangocheriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10012220622641996877noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-89715813457335492712007-12-15T16:39:00.000-08:002007-12-15T16:39:00.000-08:00So it turns out there is a positive side to tango ...So it turns out there is a positive side to tango outside of BsAs after all! Being more sterile, it is naturally devoid of the darkest aspects. Since here in US it is not an intricate part of the culture, we have less of the negative aspects you were describing, Cherie. But then hand in hand comes the fact that we don't have too much of the authenticity of tango either. Tango catch 22. <BR/>I remember Borges having said that some pure form of tango must await us in the realms past this life. Until then, let's be strong and pursue our dreams, wherever they may lead us... <BR/>Saludos, MMalenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04089837067720416320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-73604517360933234322007-08-29T13:46:00.000-07:002007-08-29T13:46:00.000-07:00This post and all of these comments really crystal...This post and all of these comments really crystallize the essence of why tango in Buenos Aires is so powerfully affecting. <BR/><BR/>To me being in BA, tango permeates you in every second whether you are dancing or not because it is such an important part of the culture. I felt much more alive and engaged on some level, even though not all of my experiences were pleasant. But all of the experiences were important. It did take a lot of emotional energy to keep up the pace, though. I could not live with that type of intensity for a prolonged time. I think we Americans crave that intensity of feeling because our own culture doesn't give it to us.tangobabyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01288974184200212536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-38683339102161204792007-08-29T11:25:00.000-07:002007-08-29T11:25:00.000-07:00For sure. Hey, some people can't live without gri...For sure. Hey, some people can't live without grime! <BR/><BR/>But I think the biggest, most common mistake most people of both genders make is the inability to distinguish between what happens on the dance floor (Vegas) and real life. It is the entire premise of my book; how to achieve that bliss off the dance floorAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-9425690632314362712007-08-29T10:23:00.000-07:002007-08-29T10:23:00.000-07:00Hi Johanna,Yes, you are so correct! To quote the p...Hi Johanna,<BR/><BR/>Yes, you are so correct! To quote the post, "At the milongas are real people, with all the attributes of anyone else, good and bad."<BR/><BR/>It's just that<BR/>1) The emotions and the abrazo of tango open you up;<BR/>2) Tourists, only being here a short time, are more vulnerable;<BR/>and,<BR/>3) Some places are grimier than others.<BR/><BR/>Besitos!tangocheriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10012220622641996877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-12609025026296599202007-08-29T09:45:00.000-07:002007-08-29T09:45:00.000-07:00Hey Cherie,The Dark Side of Life exists everywhere...Hey Cherie,<BR/>The Dark Side of Life exists everywhere, even beyond the BA milongas :-)<BR/><BR/>Many people have marveled that I never once had the urge (ok, maybe once - fleetingly) to pack up my stilletos and move to Buenos Aires where I could satisfy my habit 24/7. There are two reasons for my not doing so:<BR/><BR/>1 - I grew up in Mexico and am completely and thoroughly familiar with Latin culture, even considering myself a Latina hybrid. So much of the behaviors you describe are more Latino than they are strictly "Tango". Yes, Latinos are a ton of fun (generous, gregarious, spontaneous, etc.), but they also have their dark side, which manifests in the many behaviors you've described. Been there, done that.<BR/><BR/>2 - Going from a visiting curiosity to a permanent fixture. As a temporary guest, I can indulge in the luxury of overlooking the crud in the corners, the grime on the fixtures. And as a guest, I marvel at the complex rituals and happily indulge them. I also am exceedingly fortunate to be recognized as an advanced dancer and enjoy numerous quality tandas without ever thinking about my partners reputation, intentions, or extra-curricular liaisons. The single most important thing to remember as a guest is to be respectful of the local customs and not try to impose your imported attitude. If "when in Rome"... you'll have a grand time. The infighting, gossip, pettiness, meanness, and seating pseudo-socio-political dramas I can get at home.<BR/><BR/>Ultimately, whether at home or abroad, each of us has the power to decide whether or not to roll in the grime.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-37509052341619717762007-08-27T10:32:00.000-07:002007-08-27T10:32:00.000-07:00Cherie, the warnings just entice me...Cherie, the warnings just entice me...Elizabeth Brintonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13814965814308408209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-29781042394002305132007-08-26T20:40:00.000-07:002007-08-26T20:40:00.000-07:00chère cherie!OOPS, i meant "taxi dancer", haha. (...chère cherie!<BR/><BR/>OOPS, i meant "taxi dancer", haha. (living in nyc, i am always cursing at the "taxi drivers", who honk at anything for no apparent reason at all times of the day and night.)<BR/><BR/>and, um, i also confused what tina said about refusing that taxi dancer who wanted to dance with her, and thought it was in the original post. (argh, those darn manhattan cabbies are making me lose my mind!)<BR/><BR/>tina -- i love that! women on one side, and men on the other. not only is it practical for the cabeceo, but it would prevent any unwanted morons from sitting at a woman's table and bothering her for a dance/date/number. something which, unfortunately, always happens over here in the states...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-6959645039955782542007-08-26T14:01:00.000-07:002007-08-26T14:01:00.000-07:00Nuit - about couples, don't worry it's pretty easy...Nuit - about couples, don't worry it's pretty easy to tell who you can invite down there, as they have the men on one side of the room, and the women on the other. Couples and groups sit in the other spaces. It's really quite fun.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-38412865428202418762007-08-26T12:44:00.000-07:002007-08-26T12:44:00.000-07:00Don't worry, Blanche. You don't have to know who's...Don't worry, Blanche. You don't have to know who's who, or with who, or anything about the people. You just need to understand the codigos of how to accept an invitation, how to behave while dancing, how much you can dance with the same man, etc. And then you just smile sweetly and say no to anything else. It's not your problem if they have a girlfriend or whatever.<BR/><BR/>Just sit with me and I'll explain.<BR/><BR/>BTW, I don't understand what you meant by the taxi driver. I referred in the post to taxi dancers, but they are harmless (Ruben does it, and so do I on occasion.)tangocheriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10012220622641996877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-32232139439940255792007-08-26T10:20:00.000-07:002007-08-26T10:20:00.000-07:00excellent post. we need more like this one -- bru...excellent post. we need more like this one -- brutally honest and real.<BR/><BR/>i guess sitting and being observant is more important than ever. it seems that taxi driver could have created problems for you! <BR/><BR/>i've always wondered how difficult it is to avoid situations like those, as a first-time visiter to BA. how to know if a dance shouldn't be accepted? how to know which couples are in romatic relations, so you don't give them the cabeceo? how to avoid cultural collisions, like accepting an "invitation to coffee"? <BR/><BR/>i would hate my first B.A. experience to be with a herd of tourists. but alone, it seems i'd be crying in the bathroom 5 minutes off the plane. :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-43833461714289803222007-08-25T18:50:00.000-07:002007-08-25T18:50:00.000-07:00Elizabeth, you didn't heed the warning! :)I had a ...Elizabeth, you didn't heed the warning! :)<BR/>I had a feeling I should put a special one for you: Danger for sensitive, romantic souls like Elizaabeth!<BR/><BR/>Don't worry, it's like Caroline says, the milonga (tango) is a microcosm of all that is good and bad in life. Sure there are cokeheads, but there are sane people too. I've met some darn wonderful people in the milonga.tangocheriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10012220622641996877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-23106591764034533662007-08-25T17:57:00.000-07:002007-08-25T17:57:00.000-07:00O.K. Now you are freaking me out a little.O.K. Now you are freaking me out a little.Elizabeth Brintonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13814965814308408209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-33005225533663301462007-08-25T10:37:00.001-07:002007-08-25T10:37:00.001-07:00Tina's already said a lot of what I was about to s...Tina's already said a lot of what I was about to say - crying in the bathroom. Well, I haven't actually cried yet but definitely have endured a couple moments of utter humiliation of being walked off the floor. It was my own fault for being so hung up on the fact that "everybody sees everything." I thought if I made one teeny tiny little mistake, I was doomed to purgatory forever.<BR/>I find milongas in Buenos Aires to be the epitome of life itself, a microcosm of all that is good and bad. That's actually the appeal for me. For isn't that what tango is? The embodiment of joy and pain, beauty and ugliness of life. I've also travelled to and lived in third world countries before so it wasn't such a shock or a novelty for me to see the dark side. I've seen worse.<BR/>One thing that I did struggle with was dancing with older men who were clearly cokeheads. I don't know if I can ever get used to that. It creeps me out to dance with someone who's on drugs. There's something painfully heartbreaking, desperate and pathetic about an 60-something year old man high on coke.<BR/>I've always wanted to sit down and have a conversation with the washroom ladies, they must have seen it all and have amazing stories to tell.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-16677868589029930602007-08-25T10:37:00.000-07:002007-08-25T10:37:00.000-07:00Hi Tina,Thanks for the great comment! And it's not...Hi Tina,<BR/>Thanks for the great comment! And it's not a ramble at all, but very interesting to read your own observations.<BR/><BR/>To reply to your question about happy Tango Gringo, here's a quote from an earlier post: http://tangocherie.blogspot.com/2007/<BR/>02/tango-gringo-all-over-united-states-in.html<BR/><BR/>"... a serious dance with emotional complexities, and so people’s faces sometimes look reflective or even grim as all their energies turn inward. The American style of whatever dance form is happy, smiling and outgoing and we look and feel at home in a cheerful swing, foxtrot, or cha cha. We can even converse with our partners, too, something that is never done in Argentine tango while dancing."<BR/><BR/>Un beso grande!tangocheriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10012220622641996877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23522785.post-11329064450235056362007-08-25T10:01:00.000-07:002007-08-25T10:01:00.000-07:00Brava! Very well written.I definitely saw some of...Brava! Very well written.<BR/>I definitely saw some of the dark side when I was down there, and I guess because it was just so real and so part of the atmosphere, I didn't feel too surprised. <BR/><BR/>Disturbed? Yeah. But not surprised. <BR/>Granted, I saw more of the bright side than anything, but oh yes, that dark side is there and will rear its head at you. And yes, I cried in the bathroom at Gricel on my last night in Buenos Aires. (The bright side of that is that concerned Portenas made sure I was okay when I came out of the stall)<BR/><BR/>I thankfully didn't have to "tramp out" my clothes to get dances... but I observed some very sad things. Lost people, so changed from plastic surgery that I'm sure their own families wouldn't recognize them...some used drugs... <BR/><BR/>The humerous side was when someone's Taxi dancer tried to take a break from his job to dance with me. I said no! Goodness, what would people have thought? Then there's the fact of everybody watching every little move you make. Really made me think about my posture, facial express, etc.<BR/><BR/>I recounted some of the darker things about Tango (as well as some of the sad, tragic things of Buenos Aires) I saw to friends up here and while most weren't to surprised and were ever more curious, others didn't believe me, didn't want to. One person said, "I don't want to think of Buenos Aires that way, or I won't want to go."<BR/><BR/>Is it a North American cultural thing? Staying happy and focus only on the positive, no matter how far it takes us from reality? Que se yo.<BR/>Sorry to have rambled.. ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com